Trying to conceive part 5


Written March 26, 2017

Fertility treatments began recently.

I am already exhausted.

My story is unique, because all stories are unique. No two people go through the same process to get a family.

Our first appointment was just a consultation, we met with our Fertility Specialist and discussed our options. There are three options that we could go with, here they are;

Option 1: continue on the medication I’ve been previously taking, along with a new additional medication to help stimulate an egg. I would visit the clinic every few days for ultrasounds to monitor ovulation and once an egg is stimulated from the medication, I would take a hormone shot at home and continue to get ultrasounds regularly to see if anything happens to the egg.

Option 2: Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization (

Option 3: In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is an assisted reproductive technology (ART). IVF is the process of fertilization by extracting eggs, retrieving a sperm sample, and then manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. The embryo(s) is then transferred to the uterus. (


Our first visit at the Fertility clinic was on February 13th. Up to now March 26, 2017 we have been to the clinic four times. Here are the appointments broken down a bit.

1st visit: Consultation:

We discussed the three options and decided to start off with the first option. We added another fertility medication to the one I was already taking, ultrasounds and eventually a fertility shot, if things were progressing. We did discuss that even though I had been on fertility medication to make me ovulate, I was actually not ovulating at all. So I had been thinking I was making progress for a year and a half while in reality nothing was happening at all.

We also discussed that because I have been TTC for close to two years we would skip option 2, (IUI), entirely if option 1 did not work. It would be better for us to work on Step 1 for 3-4 months and then go right to option 3, IVF.

2nd visit: Ultrasound

This ultrasound was to check on my eggs. Until this visit I had no idea if I even had eggs, but I was pleased to learn that I have an extreme amount of eggs, probably because I’ve never ovulated before.

After this visit I was told to continue taking Femara (Letrozole) the medication that I had been on since July 2015, but a much lower dose and to add Decadron (Dexa) once my eggs were stimulated.

Alex and I were so new to this process that we didn’t know what questions to ask and what to expect, so we called the clinic and were told to come in for another ultrasound and then a sit down with a nurse.

3rd visit: Ultrasound and Meeting with the nurse:

At this ultrasound they rechecked my ovaries and we chatted with a nurse who answered all of our questions, gave me a form that spelled out every step I needed to take and when I need to take them. I felt really good and positive about everything!

4th visit: ultrasound, Meeting with the nurse:

Today was our fourth appointment. I had taken the medications and was waiting to do the shot after a good ultrasound today. I sat on the exam table ready to be super uncomfortable but praying for a nice large stimulated egg that was ready to ovulate. My ultrasound tech was great, she was very vocal and pointed out what was on the screen and then she was quiet and I knew that there wasn’t an egg. She finished up and I got dressed. So close to tears I held Al’s hand and I prayed that there was an egg, how could there not be? How could I be on so much medication and still not have an egg that is really supposed to develop naturally?

The nurse came in and said that there was no sign of a stimulated egg. That I needed to come back in three days for anther ultrasound. Guys, I held it together, I said “ok”, scheduled an appointment and got in the car. Alex and I ran some errands (including getting a chocolate shake from Cold Stone) and we went home. I put on pajama’s and slept for hours. The cramping and uncomfortableness from the ultrasound along with the frustration I was feeling really  got to me. I felt very discouraged.

My story is unique, because all stories are unique. No two people go through the same process to get a family. In my story I have had a lot of negative news. Other than hearing that I actually do have eggs, my process has been daunting, I have been given bad news at every appointment for two years. I am tired, drained, mentally exhausted and sad. Saying this to my husband prompted his knight in shining armor skills and he held me while saying that this doesn’t mean it’s over. This just means in three days we re-strategize, we look at what we have, what we can do and then put our whole selves into our new plan.

So next week I will go back to the doctor, I will still be tired and drained, but I will pray with everything I have to hear something positive, and the next time I go to the doctor I will pray with everything I have to hear something positive and the next time and the next time and the next time. I will continue to pray, I will continue to hope and I know one day, somehow I will be a mother.



A little update


The past few months have been so crazy! I got home from Australia and applied for a job, I interviewed for the job a week later and got the job the next week. I have been working as a preschool teacher since August 4th and I LOVE IT!!!! I am so lucky to have found a job where my employers are passionate about their work, my co-workers want the best for the school and the kids are excited to be there. Of course there are times when the kids act out or have melt downs but thats what kids do and for 99% of the time they are well behaved and so sweet.

September came and my sister had a baby! Evan Ryan was born on September 20, 2014. I was there for the entire labor process, I was honored to cut the cord, hold him first and have the first kiss. What a blessing he is! He is seriously beautiful and such a smiley happy baby.

October came and my family celebrated birthdays (four out of my seven siblings have birthdays in October)! My husband spoiled me rotten on my birthday, we went to ikea and The Mall of America and we spent way too much money on me and ate at the delicious Bubba Gump Shrimp. I usually dread birthdays, getting older makes me sad and I feel like I always wish for birthdays to be magical and they are never what I build them up to be. However, this birthday was magical. Alex and I had so much fun together and I couldn’t have asked for a better day. I went trick or treating with my nephews and niece (two ninja’s and Princess Jasmine), we ended up walking around for an hour and their candy buckets were full to the brim. It was such a fun night.

November came and so did the snow, a two day blizzard hit us and gave us our first snow. Typically the first snow melts away and the weather warms up for a while, not this year. The snow is here to stay and while it is beautiful I am hoping that it leaves us sooner rather then later. Yesterday was my cousin Emily’s wedding shower and my moms family all got together afterward. We got to see my Aunt and Uncles new house (Emily’s parents) and we got to just relax and be together, it was really nice.

We are preparing for the holidays now and I cannot believe how quickly they will be here! So much has happened in my day to day life and I am so thankful!

I will be back soon!


I cannot believe how long it has been since I have written! Life has been going to quickly since my trip to Australia, I got a job and have been keeping so busy with life. I am finally getting into somewhat of a schedule and because of that I will be having some time set aside for being creative. I will be working on my photography, scrapbooking and writing. Even if it’s just a few minutes a day.

So, I will be back!

The car of my dreams


My husband and I made our first big purchase this week! We bought a CAR!!!

After months of researching and test driving all different models we went ahead with the process of buying. We started at a dealership that was very helpful and narrowed down all our specific wants and what we were willing to compromise on. After 3 weeks of the dealership not finding the car we wanted and a little insult about me from the salesman to my husband (not a good idea) we switched dealerships and were able to pick up the perfect car that week!


Friday morning Alex, my mom and I all drove to the dealership (we had three trade ins so we needed three drivers!), the car was so pretty! We went over all the paperwork and the salesman showed us a few tricks about the car and we were off.


(The car had 42 miles on it!!! It was meant to be!)

My mom and I were able to take the car on a mini road trip that afternoon to visit my best friend in Eau Claire, Wisconsin. We celebrated all night and had a great girls day on Saturday. After lunch my mom and I headed out for Mall of America. We had a date planned with our husbands and my parents friends F and MJ. We got to the mall early, did a little shopping then met up for our date. We had such a great time at dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp (currently my favorite restaurant). Alex and I said our goodbyes and headed home. Alex had only driven the new car home from the dealership so he got to check things out a bit more on this drive.

The weather was a little rainy but cleared up as we went on, about 4 miles away from home 4 deer ran across the median into our lane and the last one smashed his shoulder into our car, stumbled a bit and sprinted off into a field. Alex swerved as much as he possibly could have and I believe because of his quick reflexes the damage was better than it could have been. We pulled over and Alex got out to look at the car, there was a significant dent. The light wasn’t broken but it had moved from where it should be. We called 911, my parents (who changed routes to come help) and Al’s parents then we waited. We sat in the car in complete shock and so frustrated. We bought a brand new car and after approximately 30 hours we hit a deer.

The police officer arrived and took our statements and our information, she seemed to understand how frustrated we were (she commented on how we didn’t even have license plates yet because it was so new) and soon after my parents arrived. They hugged us and said they would follow us home. Luckily the car was still driveable so we made the 4 miles trek home and parked our sad new car in the driveway, said goodbye to my parents and headed inside. ¬†All we wanted to do was go to sleep, the rest of the process would have to wait until morning. Did I mention morning would be Easter? Easter came and went, we called our insurance and the process of fixing our car started.



Finally yesterday, we worked things out, the car is in the shop and I will be picking up a rental car tomorrow morning. I am hoping to get the car back sometime in the near future so I can finally stop borrowing cars from every family member I have!

Moral of the story, being an adult sucks.