Trying to conceive part 4: My husband’s thoughts on baby making

Adult living, PCOS blog

Well friends, here it is, thoughts from my husband on our TTC process. Let me start this off by saying, this man is wonderful and while he may not have written this in the timely manner that I continuously nagged him to, he is an incredible man who puts up with my crazy and that is not an easy task! Enjoy Alex’s side of making babies!

 

On Fatherhood and our Fertility Journey

Jill’s always been far more ready to be parent than I have. Case in point is the delay it took for me to write this post compared to the prolific pace that she kept up by herself. I’ve been delaying this process as far back as I can recall. I’ve not always been the best partner on this journey and it’s a credit to Jill that she’s stuck with me throughout the whole ordeal.

Becoming fully bought in on the idea of becoming a father and starting a family was not a sudden thing for me, there was no inflection point or moment of clarity. I just thought about it one day and felt differently. I’m not sure if this the normal course of events for most men. I don’t have many friends that are my age and are dad’s and even if I did, I’m not sure it’d ever really be discussed in normal discussion (Guys don’t talk to each to each other about emotional stuff? Inconceivable!)

During our period of disagreement, my thoughts on the subject could best be summed up thusly, “I am such an asshole for postponing this, but I can’t bring myself to commit to this yet either.” There was nothing unique about my objections, I was uncertain about where we were going to live long-term, I felt very uneasy about our financial situation and at the end of the day, felt we could barely take care of ourselves, much less another human. My self doubt centered on the fact that deep down, Jill’s condition probably trumped my concerns and I resented my self-perception of not carrying equal weight in regards to this process. So I dug in, insisted that I was not ready and that we needed to progress further down our own paths before I could start this journey.

I’m particularly proud of the fact that Jill and I were able to both recognize that since we were at loggerheads over this issue, we’d be better served with a third party mediating. Finding compromise was not easy, but we were able to get there and are better off for having sought out help. The moral of this part of the story: Therapy works, don’t be afraid of it.

What I’ve ultimately found during this journey is that, as with most things, the fear and anxiety that occurs before a particular event is far worse than actually going through it. We have come a long way since we first discussed having children. We’re both at good places in our careers, own a home and generally take care of our business in a mature, adult fashion. We’re now more concerned with what our children will call my mother (we like “MeeMaw Jardo” A LOT, she… does not) or if they should play varsity sports before they’re upperclassmen (I don’t see a problem, Jill has strange ideas about this though…) and how we’ll announce we’re pregnant (not telling!)

This process has become, dare I say, fun? I’m genuinely optimistic about our prospects of getting pregnant and looking forward to all that comes with it. I’m excited for the next step and look forward to fetching Jill all kinds of strange food combinations at odd hours, reading all the pregnancy literature possible to keep her off my back (I think I’ve already told her I did this… don’t say anything.) and eventually waking up one day and thinking, “Let’s do it again.”

Week 2: Interrupted

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Week 2 of my workout program.

Sunday my poor husband started experiencing severe abdominal pain. As someone who had her appendix burst I wanted to rush him to the ER, he thought it wasn’t ER worthy so we rushed to urgent care. We sat in the urgent care waiting room for an hour and a half before we were called in to see the doctor, the entire time Alex sat patiently but in pain. The doctor asked some questions and did a few tests, gave Alex a pain shot and told us that it was a kidney stone and if it got worse overnight to go to the ER. We got out of urgent care right at 6:00 PM just as all the pharmacies closed. I had to drop Al at home and drive 20 minutes to the closest 24 hour pharmacy, wait 40 minutes for the prescriptions to be filled and then drive 20 minutes home. That night I was up every 3-4 hours giving meds, making Al drink and get up to go to the bathroom.

Monday we slept in and by lunch Alex was is so much pain we made the trip to the ER, within 10 minutes we were in a room, Al was in a gown and the nurse was giving him pain meds. It was so great! Finally he was able to get some proper rest. After 2 hours and 3 IV bags we went home with new medication and the healing process began. We slept the rest of the day and all through the night. Tuesday we woke up feeling well rested and Alex felt so much better. He ate for the first time since Sunday morning and then back to bed. 

Wednesday he went back to work and I got to do some resting for myself! I spent the day relaxing, it was so needed. Thursday was spent helping my mom…so my workout was pushed to Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

I really did not want to work out today, I wanted to continue being lazy and just do a double workout tomorrow. Here is something you should know about me, I will NEVER do a double workout. I just won’t do it. So I got off the couch and did my workout. I started out strong and drifted into exhausted very quickly! BUT I worked out, I did it! I have 2 more workouts to go and then week 3 starts! I am so proud of myself for changing my life! It is so not easy, but the hardest part is starting!