Trying to conceive part 4: My husband’s thoughts on baby making

Adult living, PCOS blog

Well friends, here it is, thoughts from my husband on our TTC process. Let me start this off by saying, this man is wonderful and while he may not have written this in the timely manner that I continuously nagged him to, he is an incredible man who puts up with my crazy and that is not an easy task! Enjoy Alex’s side of making babies!

 

On Fatherhood and our Fertility Journey

Jill’s always been far more ready to be parent than I have. Case in point is the delay it took for me to write this post compared to the prolific pace that she kept up by herself. I’ve been delaying this process as far back as I can recall. I’ve not always been the best partner on this journey and it’s a credit to Jill that she’s stuck with me throughout the whole ordeal.

Becoming fully bought in on the idea of becoming a father and starting a family was not a sudden thing for me, there was no inflection point or moment of clarity. I just thought about it one day and felt differently. I’m not sure if this the normal course of events for most men. I don’t have many friends that are my age and are dad’s and even if I did, I’m not sure it’d ever really be discussed in normal discussion (Guys don’t talk to each to each other about emotional stuff? Inconceivable!)

During our period of disagreement, my thoughts on the subject could best be summed up thusly, “I am such an asshole for postponing this, but I can’t bring myself to commit to this yet either.” There was nothing unique about my objections, I was uncertain about where we were going to live long-term, I felt very uneasy about our financial situation and at the end of the day, felt we could barely take care of ourselves, much less another human. My self doubt centered on the fact that deep down, Jill’s condition probably trumped my concerns and I resented my self-perception of not carrying equal weight in regards to this process. So I dug in, insisted that I was not ready and that we needed to progress further down our own paths before I could start this journey.

I’m particularly proud of the fact that Jill and I were able to both recognize that since we were at loggerheads over this issue, we’d be better served with a third party mediating. Finding compromise was not easy, but we were able to get there and are better off for having sought out help. The moral of this part of the story: Therapy works, don’t be afraid of it.

What I’ve ultimately found during this journey is that, as with most things, the fear and anxiety that occurs before a particular event is far worse than actually going through it. We have come a long way since we first discussed having children. We’re both at good places in our careers, own a home and generally take care of our business in a mature, adult fashion. We’re now more concerned with what our children will call my mother (we like “MeeMaw Jardo” A LOT, she… does not) or if they should play varsity sports before they’re upperclassmen (I don’t see a problem, Jill has strange ideas about this though…) and how we’ll announce we’re pregnant (not telling!)

This process has become, dare I say, fun? I’m genuinely optimistic about our prospects of getting pregnant and looking forward to all that comes with it. I’m excited for the next step and look forward to fetching Jill all kinds of strange food combinations at odd hours, reading all the pregnancy literature possible to keep her off my back (I think I’ve already told her I did this… don’t say anything.) and eventually waking up one day and thinking, “Let’s do it again.”

Trying to conceive part 2

Adult living, PCOS blog

Well here we are on part 2!

First of all, I want to say thank you! I had a very uplifting response to my first “Trying to conceive” blog and truly appreciate everyone being so kind and supportive!

We left off when I was diagnosed and given medication to help me manage my symptoms. Next I had to be a teenager with weight gain, facial hair, lots of doctor visits and irregular periods all due to PCOS, plus going through puberty. Awesome.

I remember one time I had to get waxed, eye brows and upper lip (again, thanks PCOS!), I was at a salon getting it done and a boy from school came in to get his hair cut. I was MORTIFIED! I had to walk past him with red marks on my face and completely ignored him when he said “hi”. As a young teenager, this was the worst thing that could happen. I still get embarrassed talking about this, but this is part of my PCOS journey and hopefully some girl out there will read this and know that this shouldn’t be something to be embarrassed about. This is part of PCOS and so many women with and without the syndrome deal with it.

To help me get through this awkward time I went to the electrolysis regularly and still do because GUESS WHAT! – with PCOS you get continual hair growth! I have been on medication that helps with preventing new hair growth but with trying to get pregnant I needed to be off a majority of my medications, so I am back at the electrolysis. The best part of going to the electrolysis is that I now have a relationship with my electrolysis. I have known her for over 10 years and she works me in, she helps me and works with me through any issues I have. She is awesome and I am SO thankful for her!

So from age 15 to age 24, I took medication, went to electrolysis, visited the doctor once a year and did a lot of blood tests.

After I got married in 2013, baby fever hit in and the insane process of trying to get pregnant started…

2016!

Adult living, Healthy living

2016 started out the same as every other year. With me screaming…

I WILL BE HEALTHIER! I WILL LOSE WEIGHT! I WILL EAT BETTER!

Resolution 1:

My wonderful in-laws brought us a treadmill for Christmas and we finally picked it up! (It has only taken a month to find a way to move it into the house and now we noticed that it takes a special outlet…so…crap) While I want to be healthy and fit and my brain has always wanted to be a runner, my body is more like…you know what’s fun…sleeping.

So here is my plan to overcome my lazy girl instincts!

Fitness-NewRunner-printNow I know that this is not going to break any records or impress any fitness freaks, however I think this is the best place for me to start.

I will be treadmill training three days a week and getting back into my Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide. The BBG workout is intense and awesome! It is such a great workout and I love doing it when I actually stick to it.

Resolution 2:

I also have a plan for the spring and summer. Last summer Alex and I discovered that our neighborhood had a hidden tennis court. Alex got back into tennis a few months ago with an indoor league and I really want to be able to go hit the courts with him!

Resolution 3:

Have a hobby. Am I going to do more crafts or do more photography? Am I going to get into decorating my house? Am I going to dig into gardening? Should I actually learn to cook? I need to find something that will help me relax and give me time to myself.

This year is going to be so fun! I cannot wait to see the progress I make in my resolutions!

It’s a new year!

Adult living

Oy! It’s 2015!

Christmas and New Year celebrations came and went, and suddenly it’s the second week of January. This month is typically filled with resolutions and fitness centers become jam-packed with people trying to better themselves. I am happy/frustrated to say that I am not one of those people. Happy because I know how obnoxious those “resolutions people” can be and frustrated because that means I am not working out! I wish with all my might that I could be hogging a treadmill or obviously misusing a weight lifting machine. My body has decided that the anticipation of the holiday season was too stressful and my immune system surrendered to the cold and all of my pre-k kids at work. My symptoms began the night before Christmas Eve and have been shifting to new parts of my body since. Headaches, sinus pressure, cold, chills, cough, unmentionable bathroom issues and oh so much more have followed me into this glorious new year. However, I do feel that I am slowly approaching the end of this dizzying illness, and will hopefully be stopping at the gym after work, for at least two weeks. I mean let’s not kid ourselves — working out sucks. After a day of WORKING why would I want to go WORKout? Didn’t I just finish my workday? I want nothing to do with the work word after 5pm. I want to put on my husband’s sweats, sit on the couch, eat a hearty meal of mac & cheese and watch everything Netflix has to offer. I know what you’re thinking, “PREACH SISTER!!!” Obviously, I want to be healthy but why is it such a pain in the ass?

That being said, I really took my time with coming up with resolutions that I could live with, that I wouldn’t break and that were realistic for me.

1. I want to be healthier. I will never work out five days a week, yet every year I tell myself to and I never make it through the first week. So this year I want to treat my body better. I want to work out more than I currently do, put better foods into my body and drink more water because, really, it’s not that difficult!

2. I want to be more organized. For the last year, my husband and I have been living in his parent’s basement. While we have been spoiled, (free 2200 square foot apartment!) we have been a bit lax on keeping up with the organization. We have a storage unit for this that we really shouldn’t need right now (kitchen stuff, extra furniture…) but the things in the apartment have grown and our old things have gone untouched and that most likely means we don’t need them anymore!

3. I want to read 12 books this year. I stole this resolution from Essie Button (check her out, she is amazing!) This doesn’t mean that I will read 12 books and then stop, this just means that I want to read at least one book a month. I love to read and I feel like as I’ve gotten older other things become more important than sitting down with a good book. I want to get back into the habit of making time to relax and get lost in another world.

4. I want to take more pictures. I LOVE photography! It brings me so much joy and, again, life has taken over and my time has focused on other things. I will get back at it!

5. I want to commit to blogging/other internet aspects. I really enjoy blogging, not only writing them, but reading them too. I love seeing what other people are up to and how they are handling this crazy thing we call life. I am looking into some other aspects of blogging or vlogging but I’m not 100% sure I can handle all that craziness! We will see 🙂

6. I want to be more creative. This one sort of ties into taking more pictures and committing to blogging, but in addition to those two resolutions I want to scrapbook more, create art, decorate my living space, and just basically spice up some bland areas in my life.

7. I want to spend less money. My husband is so happy about this one! As I have grown up, finished college, got married and am now at the early stages of buying a house (by early I mean we’re at the point where we are saying “hey, we should move someday) I need more money than I currently have. I am going to wear the clothes that I currently own and use up the products that are filling up my bathroom cabinet. This resolution will help my overall goal of spending less money, organizing and will also be helping me have to pack less crap when we do actually move!

So there you go, those are my resolutions! What are some of your resolutions?