I found out I was pregnant on August 5, 2017. I told my husband, my parents, my in-laws and our best friends. Then Alex and I decided to keep quiet.
Being pregnant and not being able to shout it from the rooftops is pretty challenging, but having a tiny bubble of people who know and being able to enjoy the news alone is pretty incredible.
My first few weeks of pregnancy were not easy or very pleasant, I had extreme cramping which take the test in the first place, but even after I found out I was expecting I still had the cramping. On August 7th, I went to my fertility clinic to get an ultrasound and blood work to make sure I was in fact pregnant and the doctor confirmed I was 2 weeks along.
Because I was undergoing fertility treatments and getting ultrasounds every week, we were able to see even the smallest change in my uterus! Typically women wouldn’t know they are pregnant this early and getting an ultrasound this early is very unusual.
Over the next few days the cramping got worse and worse and I was throwing up from the pain. I called my fertility clinic and they told me to go to the hospital to be checked out further. So again I had an ultrasound, they couldn’t see anything (because it was so early) but suggested I rest and classified me as a high risk pregnancy. What does high risk even mean? Should I be on bedrest? Is my baby ok? Should I go back to work? None of these questions entered my mind at the hospital, I just sat there and thought “high risk, oh my God!” My husband and I had worked so hard to get pregnant and here I was two weeks along and something was wrong. I was terrified.
I continued to be monitored by my fertility clinic weekly and on August 23rd we had an ultrasound where we could see a beating heart. We could see the tiny white blip of a baby. Wow, that feeling is indescribable. Unfortunately, with this great news we received some scary news. We were told that I had a mass in my left fallopian tube and that was what was causing my cramping. What our doctor and the ultrasound tech said was that we had a healthy, viable pregnancy in the uterus, but that we might also have an ectopic pregnancy. Again, high risk is flashing in my head. My doctor said that I might need surgery to remove my left ovary, which would make getting pregnant again even more challenging than it already has been and while it was safe to do surgery while I was pregnant there was a chance that we would lose our baby. It was just another batch of bad news that I couldn’t emotionally handle. I ached to keep my baby safe but knew that if it was an ectopic pregnancy not having surgery wasn’t an option.
A week or so later we came back for another ultrasound where after my doctor and two ultrasound techs examined me it was confirmed that it was not an ectopic pregnancy but part of the egg that shed as it moved through the fallopian tube. Everything was fine and was officially not a high risk pregnancy! That visit marked the end of our time at our fertility clinic and we were off to see an OBGYN.
From then on my first trimester was pretty typical. A lot of nausea and morning/all day sickness (which got me out of a ticket as I almost threw up on the officer), exhaustion, and my husband would say mood swings, but I didn’t notice those!
Alex and I enjoyed this time, planning and brainstorming all the things we wanted to do before baby came. We talked about names, some we had loved for years and others we discussed for the first time. We felt my belly and were in awe of how amazing this journey had been and would continue to be. Everything we had done for the past 2.5 years had paid off. We were finally going to be parents.