Tell them you love them

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I look forward to the holiday season every year. I feel like the holidays really begin around my birthday in mid-October and go until New Years. I always dream about the crisp night air on Halloween, coming into the warm house after trick or treating and having a cup of hot apple cider and munching on pumpkin seeds. Then Thanksgiving arrives and the house is filled with so many people and every one is laughing, talking and eating. Before you know it Christmas is here and the world is white and the air is cold. Everyone is dressed in comfy clothes and we all sit around opening presents and I love seeing presents opened.

This year I had a rough birthday. My birthday was on a Monday, which is the saddest day of the week for me. I leave the cities and my husband on Monday’s and make the long drive to Duluth. I spent the day in classes and alone. It was awful!

Just before Thanksgiving this year I got news that two of my younger brothers wouldn’t be able to come to Thanksgiving because they had to work. I TOTALLY understand that (Alex and I have had those years too!) but they were still greatly missed. Also, my older brothers were unable to make the holiday because of personal reasons. I celebrated Thanksgiving lunch with my in laws and had a joyous time. I had so much fun seeing everyone (20+ people), we all hung out, we spoke about what we are thankful for, we watched football, and we had a really good time. Then Alex and I headed off to my family’s house and it was so odd having only 10 people (usually we have 20+ as well)!

I really enjoyed spending time with my sister, her children, my parents, my brother and his girlfriend (I ADORE HER!), but the house was so quiet compared to other years.

I missed the noise, I missed the company, and I missed the closeness the holidays used to bring. Growing up is such a strange experience, no one tells you want to expect, no one tells you that things won’t always be the same. I always imagined that when I got older I would still be friends with my siblings. I would be able to call them for advice, to vent, to brag or just to just talk about the day. Unfortunately, I haven’t found that to be the case. 

I don’t know much about family but what I do know is that it takes work and I am guilty of not putting in my share of the work! Growing up you are forced to spend time together and when you become a grown up and have your own life, spending time takes planning.

I know that family doesn’t have to be the group of people you were born into. Other than the group I was born into, I consider my husband my family, I consider my in-laws my family, I consider my best friend my family and I would do just about anything for any of my people.

I know that you may not always like or agree with the things your family does but in the end do those things matter? On your deathbed will you remember someone calling you a name or hurting your feelings? Even when I don’t like things they did or how they do certain things, I want them to know that I love them, until the end of time.

I feel like holidays bring out the trouble in families and I am not really sure how to change that, but I want my people around when I buy a house, I want to call them screaming when I get pregnant, I want the pacing the waiting room floor when I am having my babies and I want them there for baptisms, birthdays, hockey games, dance recitals, graduations. I want to have my people be Godparents and the houses my kids run away to. I really miss my people.

I guess all I can hope for is that someone reads this and it inspires them to tell their family how much they love them. I suppose that is the best place to start.